Sep 30, 2014

I'm Tired

         I'm tired. I'm tired of life. I feel like giving up. I feel like throwing in the towel. I feel like wanting to just jump off the cliff and end all of my misery. Its frustrating, its excruciating, its unbearable. Life is just not fair.
         I'm tired. I'm tired for being the one who has to face all these problems. I'm tired for always being the one who has to fake a smile so that everyone else can carry on smiling. So everyone else can focus on their misery and ignoring mine. I'm tired for always being the one who has to forgive. For the one who always have to be the one to apologize when they're at fault. When they were the ones who created the problem. I'm  tired for being the one who has to put up with everybody else's feelings and neglecting my own.
          The one who always has to adapt with other people's behavior thus changing my own to fit into the crowd, rendering me a stranger in my own body and soul. I'm tired, for always being blamed for the ignorant things that ignorant people do. Being blamed for the reckless, irresponsible, stupid acts idiotic people do. I'm tired for always being the one who has to care about what other people think, just to maintain the peace in the community. Always having to caution myself, being extra careful in whatever I do, just because of really judgmental people who cannot focus on themselves instead. I'm tired for always having to be the patient one in troubled times.


         Why can't I just live a smooth life? Why cant I be the one who gets to be frustrated and let others comfort me? Why cant I be the one that everyone else has to adapt to? Why cant I be the one that everyone can accept? Why can't I be the one who gets to leave and not wait?

Life is just unfair. I'm tired. So tired.

           But then again, a midst of all my problems, I forget.

I forget that there was one man who faced the most problems. He had haters even beyond his time. When his intentions were so pure, he preached the world to follow the right path. At a younger age, he was called Al Amin, the honest. But the very instant he started to preach, he was hated, insulted with harsh words beyond our imagination. Imagine a situation where your childhood was beautiful, and suddenly the whole community turned against you. Did he falter? No. He kept on preaching because he knew that it was the right thing to do. His name was Muhammad may peace and blessings be upon him. The man with the best of characters.

I forget about Allah the All-Mighty. The Creator of all creations. He created Man, and yet Man shunned Him. He blessed us with infinite blessings from the food we eat, to the air we breathe and yet, we forget to be grateful. There are millions who hated Him, and yet He still gives, and gives, and gives.
Countless times, countless times where we have sinned, where we have disobeyed commandments that are in fact, beneficial for us. The All-Mighty does not need His creations to worship Him, but He commands for His creations to worship Him so He can give more. So He can bless us more, with eternal blessings in the hereafter. Always being there whenever we need Him. Always listening to those who turn to Him. Always planning the best for His creations. And all He asks is to remember Him.

So stop. Stop complaining. Stop being frustrated about all of these problems. Stop thinking that you're facing all of these problems alone. Tame your heart to always keep calm. Tame your heart to always remember Him and to always believe that everything happens for a reason. You deserve peace. You deserve harmony.

So stop,
and just breathe.

Sep 26, 2014

The Risk

            To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. The fool that people feel unworthy of their presence, of their stupidity and of their ignorance.
            To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. Being judged as weak and unable to handle the problem at hand and never will, be strong to face life.
           To reach out for another is to risk involvement. The risk of being drawn into an endless problem, being involved and being criticized for doing so.
           To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. The fragile part of you, and enabling people to take advantage of you, and or destroy your very being.
           To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss, The risk of failing and losing their trust as an individual who is able to accomplish what he dreams.
           To love is to risk not being loved in return. The risk of rejection and being laughed upon by society because of the differences that caused rejection.
          To hope is to risk despair. For high hopes that ends in disappointment causing despair and anxiety in ourselves.
          To try is to risk failure.

           But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow but they cannot learn to feel, to change, to grow, to love, and to live. Chained by their certitudes they are a slave, they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free.

           For risking appearing the fool gives that moment of happiness to ourselves, enjoying the little things in life, and appreciating life when the biggest of boulders crush you down.
           For risking appearing sentimental washes away your problems, and relieving the pain in your heart. For showing that we are humans and we all have limitations to our strengths.
           For risking involvement teaches you to care for others and not be selfish. Being social beings, everyone needs a helping hand, thus them appreciating our efforts to lessen their burden.
           For risking exposing your true self proves that you have flaws, that you are imperfect, and humbles you, so that you respect others, and their principles.
           For risking their loss gives you higher determination to chase your dreams. To fight for the things you want most. Drives you to keep moving forward and never looking back.
          For risking to not be loved in return strengthens your heart. Gives you courage to always try, and always keeping your spirit high for love in life plays a fair game, for everyone.
          For risking despair ensures that you keep on believing. Believing that anything is possible and someone or something will always come in your way in life, to help you.
          For risking failure is to give you that first step to success. The first step where no light is seen at the end of the tunnel. The first step where no end is seen among the steep stairs. But you have taken the first step. The step that brings you ever closer to whatever awaits you, at the end. The step that no one dares to take. The first step, is always crucial to success.

Their might be risks, but not taking the risk will keep you caved in the darkness,

Apr 9, 2014

Which way?

Assalammualaikum :)

We're walking. Moving to a mutual destination. Baby steps, baby steps. Start from cute little baby steps. With our parents holding our hands, walking with us side by side. We follow their path, because we are too young to move alone. As we walk, watching our parents, every step that they take, every move that they make, we learn from them, we think like them to a certain point.

Then we let go, good or bad, we have inherited and started our journey with our parents legacies. Those precious baby steps. Good or bad, we have to keep going. Because these legs are like streams and rivers, they move head on, non-stop, and there's no turning back. 

We're still moving, walking to reach that certain destination that we all look up to. As we move on, we start to learn, that those baby steps, are illusions, just the touch of the surface of reality. Then we start to feel pain. heart breaking, tear dropping, scar bearing pain. But we need to move.

As we go along, we notice, that the road, will always be crossed. Every turn we make will have more turns. But they all lead to the same point. But which way should we go? There are signs, there people on every turn, telling us what lies ahead. We are there, standing, looking around. Constantly asking ourselves, where should I go?

Then we start having people walking beside us. Sharing our journey. They also feel the same way, constantly at war with their carnality, their hearts, on their choice of path. But, you go through it together. Then at one point, they'll make their own turns, and we meet up with new people, sharing our moments during our journey. We all move on. Always thinking, 'whats next?'

We are pressured.
We feel tensed.
For every path we use, every choice we make,
will determine how we reach our destination. and how it will end.

They say change is impossible, its fixed, there's no way YOU can make a change.
They say that when a person is like that, they are like that. You can't change someone when they ARE like that.
They say that nobody's perfect.

Did anyone tell them that YOU can make a change?
Did anyone tell them, that someone CAN change?
Did anyone tell them that at least, people can TRY to become perfect?



Imagine yourself in a situation and you needed to make a choice. Imagine that situation is a really big sphere, and there are many arrows pointing from the center to the outer part of the sphere. These arrows are your choices that determine your outcome of the situation. Once you make a choice, that arrow will lead you to another huge sphere with many other different arrows.

And before making those choices, there are always external factors that manipulate your choices. But in the end, it is you who makes them.

The only thing that's stopping you from making the right choices are:


Its true that we were raised in different environments, different cultures and different teachings, but would it be wise to blame on every single one of them, when God gave you a good mind to analyse so you may choose which one to follow?

And would it be wise to blame other people for your actions? Curse them, humiliate them, bring them a greater pain because you didnt get what you wanted in the end?

To blame the uncontrollable, is unwise.
When you can focus on the things that can be controlled, such as ourselves.

Wounds heal, but scars remain. Stop yourselves from creating wounds, for the pain of the scars is unbearable.

Our imperfections should not be ignored nor should it be emphasized, but it should be reminded, that we have flaws that are needed to be corrected.
Stop focusing on the downfall, and start focusing on the resurrection, for the plannings ahead are the most important.

Our journey has not yet ended, on every turn, there are still reminders, on every path there are still companions, holding your hands and making sure you succeed.

All you need to do,
 is choose :)

Music to my ears