I'm tired. I'm tired of life. I feel like giving up. I feel like throwing in the towel. I feel like wanting to just jump off the cliff and end all of my misery. Its frustrating, its excruciating, its unbearable. Life is just not fair.
I'm tired. I'm tired for being the one who has to face all these problems. I'm tired for always being the one who has to fake a smile so that everyone else can carry on smiling. So everyone else can focus on their misery and ignoring mine. I'm tired for always being the one who has to forgive. For the one who always have to be the one to apologize when they're at fault. When they were the ones who created the problem. I'm tired for being the one who has to put up with everybody else's feelings and neglecting my own.
The one who always has to adapt with other people's behavior thus changing my own to fit into the crowd, rendering me a stranger in my own body and soul. I'm tired, for always being blamed for the ignorant things that ignorant people do. Being blamed for the reckless, irresponsible, stupid acts idiotic people do. I'm tired for always being the one who has to care about what other people think, just to maintain the peace in the community. Always having to caution myself, being extra careful in whatever I do, just because of really judgmental people who cannot focus on themselves instead. I'm tired for always having to be the patient one in troubled times.
Why can't I just live a smooth life? Why cant I be the one who gets to be frustrated and let others comfort me? Why cant I be the one that everyone else has to adapt to? Why cant I be the one that everyone can accept? Why can't I be the one who gets to leave and not wait?
Life is just unfair. I'm tired. So tired.
But then again, a midst of all my problems, I forget.
I forget that there was one man who faced the most problems. He had haters even beyond his time. When his intentions were so pure, he preached the world to follow the right path. At a younger age, he was called Al Amin, the honest. But the very instant he started to preach, he was hated, insulted with harsh words beyond our imagination. Imagine a situation where your childhood was beautiful, and suddenly the whole community turned against you. Did he falter? No. He kept on preaching because he knew that it was the right thing to do. His name was Muhammad may peace and blessings be upon him. The man with the best of characters.
I forget about Allah the All-Mighty. The Creator of all creations. He created Man, and yet Man shunned Him. He blessed us with infinite blessings from the food we eat, to the air we breathe and yet, we forget to be grateful. There are millions who hated Him, and yet He still gives, and gives, and gives.
Countless times, countless times where we have sinned, where we have disobeyed commandments that are in fact, beneficial for us. The All-Mighty does not need His creations to worship Him, but He commands for His creations to worship Him so He can give more. So He can bless us more, with eternal blessings in the hereafter. Always being there whenever we need Him. Always listening to those who turn to Him. Always planning the best for His creations. And all He asks is to remember Him.
So stop. Stop complaining. Stop being frustrated about all of these problems. Stop thinking that you're facing all of these problems alone. Tame your heart to always keep calm. Tame your heart to always remember Him and to always believe that everything happens for a reason. You deserve peace. You deserve harmony.
and just breathe.